Drama

Drama...........

I dont have to tell or explain what does it mean or shall i say Literature Review on "D.R.A.M.A". 

But then, i notice one major thing with some people. They really like to have this drama as part of their life activities and they like other people to take part in this "Drama". 

Dude! 

Stop all those crap and bullshit reasons that you are trying to tell me. Cant you just be truth and responsible to all things that you have done. You dont have to cover up with all nonsense thing and when i say it right to your face, you start all those drama and now you blame back to me! 

Owh come on....... Just admit it and stop all those crap just because you are trying to hide on all things that you have done. You are actually make things worst. Just leave all those drama to the TV and actor actresses.

You will be missed Tn Guru Nik Aziz (120215)

Last night around 9 pm, i got a news through Group Whatsapp and they we saying that Tn Guru Nik Aziz just passed away. We asked one of our friends to confirm on the news instead just rely on the rumour spread.

10 minutes later, he came back and confirm on the news. 

Nothing could i say during that time. The only i could do as a muslim is Recited Surah Al-Fatihah for him.

Interesting things that i hear about a good person when they passed away is, 

1. The news of their death to people who know them are easily spread and lots of people will come and give the last respect to the dearly departed. 
2. On the funeral day, it always shadowed with the cloud in the sky as its show the sadness for the departed. 
3. More and more people will come and visit to pay the last respect to the dearly departed. They will follow until to the grave as to show their last respect. 
4. They not only give the last respect, but they also will pray and hope that dearly departed will be rest in peace till the D-day.  
5. People will always share all the good things that they have done during their life and remember it 

 First time i hear all this is from my mother. She shared to me on the last moment before my late grand father passed away until the day of funeral. From that story, i observed on any moments that i could anticipate with, the same situation i encounter until now. All the things that my mother said is true. 

Innalillah-hiwainnailai-hirajuin. (From the Allah Al-Mighty we came and to Him we go) 

Condolence to Family of Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz. You will be missed by Family, Friends and Enemy and to all who have known him during his life. 

Al-Fatihah.  

The Quote

Last night before i shut my eyes and call for a night, scrolling the Instagram and saw this quote from "The Quote" Instagram. 

Sometime, you just have to do what's best for you.

I guess, you already know what is happening to me these few days. I kind of rambling on the things that really hurt my heart and this thing keep on repeating messing my mind. Well, this is what we call the heart broken situation.

Recently as well, i guess it has turned to a climax where it has hit my emotion and caused me a depression for the 3rd time. I have lost my smile, i didnt mingle with my friends and try to avoid any meet up and i just separate my life from anything. 

Yes, this is not good but then i cant help it. Its not my way in finding other peoples fault. I know that things are happened with the reason behind it and there must be something that need to be done in a proper way. I always believe in communication, discussion, understanding and express it all the matters in making sure that we know what is going on.

Last night, after i saw this quote, some of the burdens that keep on messing my mind out of sudden it stop. I start to realized that there are few things that i actually start from last mid December, actually helping me in making things moved on the right path for me to do what is best for myself.

Lets have it as what i have planned all along and lets hope all this will lead to something good for all.

What people see on you.

God Al-Mighty has created every single person each of us in a different way. Simplest thing that i can say is you can never have the same thumb print from any person in this world. 

Ok, My opening statement are just too big or not really narrow to what point that i would like to share here. Actually, the real thing that i want to share is you can NEVER change what people will see about you. It come from their point of perspective. Even you are willing to invest millions of dollars that you have just because you want they see as what you want it. I can say FORGET IT! 

Actually, indirectly you can but it has to come from you. HOW? 

Let just say suddenly one fine day you are about to exit the building and you saw one stranger on the other side of the glass window and they are about to enter the way way that you use. Just they are about to open that glass door, you open it earlier from that person. You stop, hold the door, let them in and smile. By doing that simple action, does it give a good impression to you from that person.   

Your attitude, behavior, character, approach, way of thinking, action, activities etc etc etc. All this come from you. If you do it, use it, practice it, express it in a right way im sure that all negative thoughts that they heard before this will be gone. 

But remember, even you have done many Nobel things in your life, unfortunately you accidentally done one tiny mistake or fault or anything that cause bad reputation to you. Just one simple tiny mistake, they will remember it for the rest of their life.

Sign of Depression

Just out of sudden my mind said to myself  "hey, have a look on depression symptom". So..... i just have look in internet

Let see what does it say

• you cant sleep or you sleep too much 
• you cant concentrate or find that previously easy task are now difficult 
• you feel hopeless and helpless 
• you cant control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try 
• you have lost your appetite or you cant stop eating 
• you are more irritable, short tempered or aggressive as usual 
• you are consuming more alcohol that normal or engaging in other reckless behavior 
• you have thoughts that life is not worth living 

So, let see what can I relate on above list with my current condition. 

• Answer : Yes for both. where there's time i have difficulty to sleep for many nights and sleep too much after that. Repeatedly.
• Answer : So far, my concentrations on work are still remain the same. But i have tendency to drag on things that is not necessary like scrolling facebook, instagram, twitter, LinkedIn, FlipBoard on and on even i have read it through.
• Answer : Owh yes. Big one for sure. I dont know to who i can share / talk / discuss with. Some people they can release it with crying. I cant even cry.
• Answer : Yes. That is because past incident had happenned and every time i saw things that might trigger the past incident, all negative thought just popped out and keep on thinking about it.     
• Answer : Yes. My weight has reduced from 72 kg to 69 kg now. I have to eat something just to get the energy. 
• Answer : My short temper can just easily make an appearance for just a silly things. 
• Answer : Owh yes. The urge has become more and more. You name it, ill get it, ill have it and i'll have it more. 
• Answer : At the moment it does not reach to that extend but then i did have a thought of what will people reminds of me after i have passed on. Or i said that im not strong as im used to and hope my departure could ease all the burden that been pressing me all this time. 

So, based on my honest answer, what can you roughly conclude.